I don’t even remember the last time I blogged… but since I will be coming up on some down time soon I figured this would be a good time to get back into it!

2018 has been a blur. Literally so much has happened that I don’t even feel like I have the same life as last year!  As a quick summary, Devin and I got engaged on December 23, 2018 on our four year anniversary!  I had been waiting for that moment for so long and when I think of the moment he asked me to be his wife…. I STILL get emotional.  Fast forward 5 weeks and I found out I was pregnant.  To be quite honest, I was in full blown “new fiancee” mode and was daydreaming of bridesmaid dresses, catering options and what our first dance would be.  Our plan was to rent a beach house in October, party with our friends all week and then end the vacation with a bang by having our wedding with closest family and friends.  Never did I think that October would be when I would welcome a baby boy.  To make it even crazier, we were going to rent the beach house the EXACT week that my due date fell on.  Our priorities and day dreams quickly changed from wedding budgets… to baby budgets.

We realized that we didn’t want to wait until after the baby came to get married so we made a decision that one day soon we would go to the courthouse and make it official.  The week of Valentines Day came and we decided to go ahead and “do it” and might as well make it on Valentines Day!  Devin had to work every day that week so we spontaneously decided to meet on his lunch break and make it official. This is usually when peoples faces DROP and are shocked by this but I just kind of shrug and smile.  We already felt married, we had been together for over 4 years and at that point the only thing we thought about was welcoming our baby.  So Devin met me at the Stafford County Courthouse on his lunch break wearing a white button down and tie while I wore a bright coral dress.  About an hour later, papers were signed and he was eating the sub from Wawa that I brought him. Talk about a cheap wedding. We laugh about it now and think of it as just another day and still consider December 23rd as our REAL anniversary!  Did I get a first dance? No. But I sure get grabbed in the kitchen and swung around on a regular basis. Did I get to wear a gorgeous white dress? No. But I get told I’m his beautiful wife when I am wearing sweats and a messy bun at least once a week.  I didn’t get to have an awesome vacation followed by a wedding… but we now daydream about taking our FIRST family vacation instead.  In the end…. I love that man so much and I love this baby boy way more than a wedding.

I waited to announce our marriage until after I announced our pregnancy because I knew the first thing people would ask would be, “Are you pregnant?!” I didn’t want to lie to anyone! Everyone around us was so happy for us and I literally couldn’t ask for more support.  Devin and I had been together so long and we were finally adding a new member to our little family.  This pregnancy has been such a blessing and I know people always say that… but there really is no better way to describe it.  God showed me yet again…. that I can plan all I want but it means nothing in the end!  

So what have I learned over these last three weeks?

1.  Pregnancy is not as glamorous as they make it in the movies.

Now I had heard this before from my mom friends but I don’t think you really get it until it’s happening to you.  I spent the first 19 weeks of my pregnancy on my bathroom floor crying and puking. Literally.  Multiple times a day.  Night. Afternoon. Morning. I lived off cereal and waffles.  I remember Devin didn’t believe I was pregnant until I texted him I just got sick while cooking ground turkey. Only then he said, ” I love you…. you’re really pregnant!”  I had my first breakout since I was like 20…. my hair seems so dry and frizzy no matter what product I put in it.  You look in the mirror and feel like NOTHING looks good on you.  You have heart burn after drinking something as simple as water… I mean for real. Like to all the girls out there that felt sexy while being pregnant…. I give you serious props.

2.  Not everyone cares.

THIS. Man oh this…. Maybe it’s the hormones. Maybe it’s just because you think this little gummy bear on the ultrasound is THE CUTEST thing you have ever seen and feel like everyone should agree. But then you quickly realize…. no one really cares except your man and your mama.  A few friends and family members but no one else. Haha! I can’t tell you how many friends of mine that I literally have maybe heard from like… once or twice… since I got pregnant.  At first my feelings were hurt.  Why weren’t they happy? What did I do wrong? Did I annoy them with my excitement? But in reality… the world doesn’t revolve around you.  For real.  Everyone has their own lives, news, and exciting things going on!  So don’t get your feelings hurt when you show that ultrasound photo off and people react with, “oh cool.”

3.  Your man should help you out more than normal and no… you don’t need to feel bad about it!

God bless Devin. Like holy moly he has been my rock.  From making me a variety of dinner choices so I could choose what didn’t make me sick… to cleaning after a long day at work when all I’ve done is sit on the couch in my pajamas… to telling me “I look beautiful” when I literally look like a bloated ghost who hasn’t slept in a week… I mean he seriously has stepped up more than I could ever ask for.  The best part is… he doesn’t think it’s something he should be thanked for.  I spent more than half of this pregnancy feeling guilty for this. I felt like I was a let down and even thought to myself, “wow what a great wife… not.” In the end we are all doing our job of getting ready for this baby. I am over here growing limbs….. so it’s okay that he did dishes for the fifth night in the row.

4.  No one knows what they are talking about.

Every mom has a different answer for everything! Any question I have asked I swear I get 1000 different answers.  When I go to my OB appts…. they aren’t as informative or exciting as I thought they would be.  Typically 9/10 times it’s been my blood pressure, a urine test, check to see if I have a heartbeat and doctor says okay see you next week!  I google almost everything or read forums from other moms that have no idea what they are doing either.  I’ve learned that every pregnancy is different and every baby is going to be different.  The only thing I can do is listen to my gut, try and see what works for me and support other women even if they do it differently!

5.  If there is only one thing you make sure you do when pregnant… it’s SLEEP

Maaaaan I used to feel so guilty about taking naps the first part of my pregnancy. Now it’s like a surprise if I am not asleep when Devin comes home. I love naps and not ashamed! It is truly the thing that makes me feel better! Girl you better take advantage of any naps you can…. sleep in whenever possible… and it’s never too early to climb in bed at night.

I am SO excited about this journey coming up. It is going to be terrifying, rewarding, beautiful, gross, and something I will cherish forever.